I got a room for tonight

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Jacob has worked on the front lines of hotels for more than a decade, starting as a lowly valet in New Orleans and ultimately landing at a front desk in New York City.

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The fact that a hotel could fail to be profitable astounds me. Which makes me want to take a shower.

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At home. Since the average no-show rate is 10 percent daily, hotels will overbook whenever possible.

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The sales and reservations departments are encouraged to book the property to percent capacity, in the hopes that with cancellations and no-shows they will fill every room. Someone gets walked.

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A guest is more likely to get walked if: 1. He booked using Expedia, hence he has a deeply discounted rate and is less important. He never stayed here before and may never visit the city again. And this one is so much more important than all the others: He is acting like a jerk.

Though most complaints should be delivered to the front desk directly, in person or on the phone, keep in mind that most issues will not have been caused by the front desk at all. So briefly outline your problem, offer a solution if you have one, and then ask whom you should speak with to have the problem solved. Most of the time, the front desk will be able to solve the problem immediately or at least act as proxy. Get his or her name. Tommy, right?

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Will screaming get you what you want? Well, probably. To put on a pillowcase, the housekeepers throw a solid karate chop right down the middle of the pillow and then shove it in, folded like a bun. This method is preferred to the civilian method of tucking it under your chin and pulling up the pillowcase like a pair of pants because these ladies have no interest in letting 50 pillows a day come into contact with their faces.

Furniture polish. However, I am not recommending you take this tip and apply it in your own home. Though using furniture polish is quick and effective, over time it causes a waxy buildup that requires a deep scrub. Keeping those glasses clean-looking was also part of the job. Most people are appalled at the prices. However, you never have to pay for the items in the minibar. Why not? Minibar charges are, without question, the most disputed charges on any bill. That is because the process for applying those charges is horribly inexact.

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Keystroke errors, delays in restocking, double stocking, and hundreds of other missteps make minibar charges the most voided item. Reservations made through Internet discount sites are almost always slated for our worst rooms. Does this seem unfair?

First of all, we earn the slimmest profit from these reservations. We were at the top of a list sorted by price.

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Since we have no reason to assume Internet guests will ever book with us again, unless our discount is presented to them, it truly makes business sense to save our best rooms for guests who book of their own volition. Before that, the bellman was a necessity, a provider of ease and comfort, a useful member of society.

The man has a family. No one is being bothered here! Any arriving guest should receive what are referred to as initial keys, which are programmed to reset the door lock when they are first inserted, deactivating all keys.

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Not until the keys expire or a new initial key enters the lock will the keys fail to work. Either one of them will work when you get to the room, and as long as you keep using the very first key you slipped in, all will be well.

Trace that back to me? Not a chance. Trace that back to the fact that you told your 9-year-old daughter to shut her mouth while harshly ripping off her tiny backpack at check-in? See Also: 10 Flight Attendant Secrets. There is always a better room, and when I feel that 20 you slipped me burning in my pocket, I will find it for you. And if there is nothing to be done room-wise, I have a slew of other options: late checkout, free movies, free minibar, room service amenities, and more. Some people feel nervous about this move.

We are authorized to upgrade for special occasions. The special occasion occurring now is that I have a solid By Jacob Tomsky Jacob has worked on the front lines of hotels for more than a decade, starting as a lowly valet in New Orleans and ultimately landing at a front desk in New York City.

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I got a room for tonight

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How to get a hotel room for a few hours or a day